BREAKING: Reanimated corpse takes Pennsylvania! Democracy is surging!
John Fetterman beat Dr. Mehmet Oz in the U.S. Senate race in Pennsylvania. John Fetterman, who is recovering from a major stroke, won even though he can barely string words together. Say what you will about Dr. Oz, but at least he can complete a full sentence without forgetting what he was saying midway through. Dr. Oz is a healthy man unlike John Fetterman. Just the other day, Fetterman opened up his debate with Dr. Oz by saying, “Good night everybody.” He is still obviously suffering from the after effects of his stroke. John Fetterman, serious politician that he is, sported a homeless look for most of his campaign. He frequently showed up to events wearing black/gray hoodies and baggy gym shorts. In contrast, Dr. Oz typically showed up in public in a suit and tie. Besides looking disheveled and “bummy,” Mr. Fetterman isn’t easy on the eyes either. John Fetterman literally looks like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. If God forbid, he suffers another stroke, then he may become Quasimodo in the flesh.
But the people allegedly chose Fetterman. Is this what a great democracy looks like? I remember when health mattered.
Was the election rigged? How many of the votes were real? Was there any cheating involved? Who knows and who cares? It’s impossible to know now because mail-in ballots and the widespread use of sketchy machines to count the votes have shattered the integrity of the U.S. election system. But I suppose that a half-dead man like Fetterman is no less deserving of a Senate seat than a half-dead man like Joe Biden was of the Presidency. Both men look like reanimated corpses. And you know what? Joe Biden actually looks good compared to John Fetterman. Joe Biden has held up much longer than I thought he would and he is managing to keep up with his Presidential duties. And more importantly, Joe Biden didn't literally have a stroke this year.
American democracy means being ruled over by people who can barely speak and may have permanent brain damage. Congratulations to John Fetterman and the people of Pennsylvania. I am sure that he will do a great job in Washington.
Comentarios